Let me take you back to Wednesday around lunch time. It was a beautiful winters day and my son's girlfriend and I were sitting around filling our mouths with some of Phil's lovely cakes. Phil makes the best pies and cakes in the whole of NSW, but if you live around here you would already know that so I will continue.
As we were chomping on cupcakes I made a little joke about how New Zealanders love fucking sheep, that's where most of them got their course curly hair from. The girlfriend let out a little giggle and I could see pee running down her leg. At this stage all I could think of saying was "the joke wasn't that funny". Then she said it, those frightful words "my waters just broke". I didn't know what to do, so I lit up a smoke and took another swig of my beer. Beer, cake and pregnancy, what would we do without them?
Well 6 longnecks and a packet of ciggies later I decided to load the little heifer into the car and take her to the hospital.
I decided to go into the labor ward with her. I don't know why I bothered, because 6 pushes later it was all over. I could have been at home watching Dr Phil and finishing off the rest of the longnecks.
You would think that was the end of my good news right? Wrong! It gets better. I got my tax cheque back and decided to get married. I have 2 grand to spend on the best wedding EVER!!! The beer will be flowing and we will be eating the best damn pies and sausage rolls in the land.
Oh, and my brother Phil is going to make me a cheese cake for the wedding cake. Does it get any better than that?
More updates on the wedding soon.
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